Two-faced
It's funny how life throws things at you, sometimes as a warning of things to come...
This past weekend I was checking out my friend's blog, and it linked to her friend's blog. I found this friend's blog fascinating. Extremely introspective and intelectually stimulating. His topic that day was betrayal. Funny how listening to another person's experiences with betrayal can sometimes open up old wounds that haven't quite resolved themselves the way you'd thought they had.
I've experienced what I feel has been some pretty hard core betrayal. In fact, it was compounded by the fact that not only was one very significant person in my life involved, but he involved a number of people I trusted NOT to get involved. These people never should have gotten involved in the manner they did, but when they did, I was devastated.
It took me several months to start to work myself out of the huge mess and start to trust people, a few in particular.
I received another painful reminder that sometimes it can be a little too early to trust. Some people just don't deserve your trust no matter how much they talk and reassure you. Some people are only out for themselves. Some people will stab you in the back the moment they get a chance, just to try and get a step ahead. I have no desire to foster relationships with these types. I am tired of being hurt by people I trust. I guess you could call me bitter. I can handle that. But I honestly don't think that's the problem. Forgiveness doesn't involve forgetting. It involves letting go of the hard feelings. I forgot that whole concept. I had tried to forget the past wrongs in an effort to forgive. All it did is make me even more vulnerable to being taken advantage of by this person. Well, you can be sure I won't forget again. The reminders are far too painful.
Ok, that was a mouthful all at once. Well, suffice it to say, the blog on Betrayal ended up being prophetic in my life. What was interesting about that post in particular, was his comment that Betrayal only really hurts when it involves someone you love, someone you've trusted, someone you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable around. Yes, he hit the nail on the head with that one.
This past weekend I was checking out my friend's blog, and it linked to her friend's blog. I found this friend's blog fascinating. Extremely introspective and intelectually stimulating. His topic that day was betrayal. Funny how listening to another person's experiences with betrayal can sometimes open up old wounds that haven't quite resolved themselves the way you'd thought they had.
I've experienced what I feel has been some pretty hard core betrayal. In fact, it was compounded by the fact that not only was one very significant person in my life involved, but he involved a number of people I trusted NOT to get involved. These people never should have gotten involved in the manner they did, but when they did, I was devastated.
It took me several months to start to work myself out of the huge mess and start to trust people, a few in particular.
I received another painful reminder that sometimes it can be a little too early to trust. Some people just don't deserve your trust no matter how much they talk and reassure you. Some people are only out for themselves. Some people will stab you in the back the moment they get a chance, just to try and get a step ahead. I have no desire to foster relationships with these types. I am tired of being hurt by people I trust. I guess you could call me bitter. I can handle that. But I honestly don't think that's the problem. Forgiveness doesn't involve forgetting. It involves letting go of the hard feelings. I forgot that whole concept. I had tried to forget the past wrongs in an effort to forgive. All it did is make me even more vulnerable to being taken advantage of by this person. Well, you can be sure I won't forget again. The reminders are far too painful.
Ok, that was a mouthful all at once. Well, suffice it to say, the blog on Betrayal ended up being prophetic in my life. What was interesting about that post in particular, was his comment that Betrayal only really hurts when it involves someone you love, someone you've trusted, someone you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable around. Yes, he hit the nail on the head with that one.
posted by Mehana @ 11:03 PM
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